Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Breathe in, Breathe out

These days have got me thinking about tremendous amount of matters
Feels that everytime you accomplished a task,
There always seems to have a lack of accomplishment.
Thinking if there is something else I'm missing,
which I can't pinpoint what.
I'm sure everyone has this feelings before
Wonder if anyone has found the solution for this
Somehow, I am not thrown off by these at all,
I tend to let it marinate for awhile prior to slashing the matter off my worry list
Not fearful of consequences of procrastinating
Wonder if this is a protective or destructive trait for a person
But definitely not as bad as compulsive traits
I think I might have set my perfectionism free
As for now,
doesn't matter if things are going on plan or not,
whether things I want becomes the way I wish for it to be,
or whether series of events leading to a desirable outcome or not,
I just breathe,
take it all in,
and live with it,
no point driving my anxiety over something I can't control,
especially in developing a romantic relationship,
Don't fret,
Someone may turn up,
Even if they don't,
I got more things to juggle with now,
on verge of completely transitioning into adulthood,
having to pay for mortgage soon,
multiple responsibilities,
Come what may...

One of my favourite Mandarin songs covered by myself

By Kaiwyn Tang
Night shift letter
19th April 2018

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Empty Handed

Coming to the end of 2017
A few more hours before the usual annual celebration
But still listening to the early teenage era music
Ironically the melody was nostalgic but also brings the spirit down
Literally as it sang "You just bring me down..."
Looking into the current scenery, it appears that not much has changed
Except for my grown out physique,
And the feeling of kinda burning out but not fully,
Initial plans of wanting to recuperate was denied,
But does not feel like its the end of the world...

The multiple people and personalities met so far,
Either new or changed circumstances,
Felt the static of own while others evolved into different stages,
Or maybe because all along,
Reflection upon self was insufficient,
I guess it's hard to see self with own eyes...
What you thought could be empty handed,
In another person perspective, could be a treasure hidden just underneath solid ground
Just awaiting for the right person to put that vision into your field
And prosper, and to share the fruit of what you may initially thought was...
Empty handed

Kevin Tang

Sunday, August 02, 2015


I was floating peacefully in my own space,
I have my own orbit different than most,
I have my own moons that circles around me,
I was in my own world for a long time,
Doesn't matter if I was furthest from the Sun,
Or whether if I am icy cold,
I am a free spirit in my own wavelength,

Until someone spotted me,
I was given a name,
I was given a position,
I was given a title,
A satellite was launched out for me,
Suddenly my every spin and adventure in space was closely monitored,
I am still a free spirit,
Still in my own wavelength,
But being labelled by someone in the 3rd planet of the Solar System,
Whom I can't even see hear or feel from my side.

Until someone denied me,
I was demoted from my previous position,
I was stripped off from my previous title,
I was labelled as just another asteroid floating in Solar System,
My every spin and adventure in space was still closely monitored,
I am still a free spirit,
Still in my own wavelength,
Despite being labelled by someone,
And denied by someone else in the same 3rd planet of the Solar System.
The satellite that finally flew me by,
With the remains of that someone who spotted me,
Whom I still can't even see hear or feel from my side,

Here is the irony of the story,
Where a person from the 3rd planet of the Solar System,
Writing about how I would see,
How I would hear,
How I would feel,
With 7.5 billion kilometers of distance,
You can only imagine and imply,
But what about seeing, hearing and feeling within the people in the 3rd planet?
Do you imagine and imply?
Or go directly and seek the truth?

by Kevin Tang
2nd August 2015

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Out of Hands

From the day when you can control things,
the very first word you spoke,
the very first item you manipulated,
the very first conscious deep sleep you took,
the very first arithmetic question you solved,
the very first friend you befriended,
you feel that you are in control,
and it will be in such way forever.

But from the day when you have to control things,
every word that you spoke,
every item that you manipulated,
every rest that you took,
every arithmetic question that you solved,
every friend that you befriended,
you hope that you are in control,
and it will not be out of your hands.

As aging process takes place,
Realisation of that there are things that can't be in control,
But still,
People work really hard to be organised,
and to remain on the "throne" of their own kingdom.
But if the motivation is from trying to keep everything in its respective spot,
Why do things become so messy on its own?
Even without your own manipulation or effort,
Things can still get out of hands and change.

So what do you perceived as being in control?
You won't know for sure if that,
the words that you have spoken is the way you want people to understand,
the items that you have manipulated is the way you want it to end up like,
the rest that you have taken is the actual amount of deep sleep you envisioned,
the arithmetic questions that you have came up with an answer to be accurate,
the friends you have taken time befriending to be your exclusive friends for life.
Being in control doesn't mean that you have to acquire what you have exactly aimed it to be like,
It's actually not being thrown off even if in the end,
what you have wanted,
did not go the way you wanted it to be.


Thursday, September 11, 2014

The sun

I'm the core,
I'm the centre of everything,
hence I control everything,
I control the amount of beams that I release,
I manage the amount of energy that I burn,
I allow the amount of planets circling around me.

I'm the core,
I'm the centre of everything,
but I don't control everything,
Other planets filter the amount of beams that they acquire,
Other planets manage the amount of energy that they receive,
Other planets also have their own moons and satellites circling around them.

I'm not the core,
I'm not the centre of everything,
and I certainly can't control everything,
as I'm only in my own galaxy.
Other galaxies have their own way of illumination,
Other galaxies have their own energy systems,
Other galaxies also have their own systems and planets populating in them.

everyone's important in their own way.
Stop thinking about changing someone else,
Stop complaining about how others act,
Stop expecting that things will be done your way,
As the sun continues to burn on its own,
Supplying endless amounts of beams and energy,
The planets carry on remaining in their own orbit,
As what's important is not how much you will receive back what you've given
the crucial part is that you have willingly and effortlessly done your best,
in being what you might perceive subconsciously as...
The Absolute Centre of Everything.

With warm regards

Tuesday, May 20, 2014


It's been ages since I updated my blog
Even though from the looks of things I am living a busy life
But somehow a part of me still feel static
Still at the same place
Still at the same mentality
Still at the same pace
And definitely still feeling the same old self

I find it odd when people said "You've grown and matured"
But why can't I see it through my own very eyes?
Are they commenting on the physical changes?
I must admit that time haven't been that nice to me
But hey, I guess most people have the same lament at a certain stage of life
All the things and opportunities that I've gained and missed
Regretting over and celebrating over
But things that tends to haunt you
Ultimately are the things that you have no control over
That's the nature of human beings I guess
Even myself can't dodge this reality
So I always remind myself consciously
Not to over-think it
But in the end
It still lingers in the mind
Appearing in your subconscious state

So yeah
when people asks me, "How've you been?"
The standard answer that they wanna hear is probably, "I'm fine."
But being a person like me
Who at least consciously keep reminding himself to be an alternate human being but ending up as another average commoner
At this stage
I would reply

At least I wish to be

With regards
20th May 2014

Sunday, August 04, 2013


Cover of 孤单北半球 + 小夫妻
Hoi Mun Tang