Kevin Tang - Dedicated To You [ORIGINAL]

Always feeling musical during assignment or exam periods...

This time I wrote a song, "dedicated to you"

Song title: Dedicated to You

Lyrics and composed by Kevin Tang

The sun's shining on me

It tells me to breathe

It knows that I can't say THAT out loud to you

PRE-CHORUS

You know that I'm introverted

Sometimes think that I'm perverted

So I wrote you this song

Hope you'll know

Wish you'll know

My feelings (affections) for you

CHORUS

I miss (need) you I want (love) you

That's what I'll do

To the East (North) To the West (South)

I'll go for you

All I need (wish) All I want (hope)

is you by my side

Oh how I wish that I'm with you

Oh I just want to be with you

The moon's glaring at me

It's so hard to believe

Time passes so quick and I haven't say THAT in awhile

Repeat (PRE-CHORUS)

Repeat (CHORUS)

This song is dedicated to you

You know who you are

So I don't have to say directly to you

Repeat CHORUS

What I've written just for you

Is my way of saying that

I'm glued~

#END

Seclusion: Battle between two selfs

Once ever so sunny, now it is drizzling,
Things that have gone smoothly, sometimes obstructive,
Just like most people in life,
mood swings, ups and downs, high and low,
there is never a definite description that will last forever,
no matter how you wish it would stay.

Range of happiness,
range of sadness,
but no matter how down your mood is,
once it hits rock bottom,
there is no other way but up,
and it happens the other way around as well,
just like the exhilarating part of alcohol,
then comes the irritating hangover,
and goes back to the normal daily life phase.

Sad<---------Normal--------->Happy
Is it really true that everyone put their mood in a rating scale?
As a medical profession I've always had been asking about from scale of 1 to 10,
how would the patient rate their mood/ pain/ feeling?
Then I ask myself at the end,
Is it possible to quantify anything so subjective?
Can you actually isolate the feeling to a respective percentage or integer?
When you explore it,
it is always more than just being some ranking to allow other health professionals to get an insight of what a patient feels,
Does it always mean the same if other people gave the same digit to describe their feelings?
Do people in general all express their feelings in the same way?
Or following the social norms?
I guess it ultimately relies on a person's personality,
although this is where misunderstandings and assumptions are made,
by people who think they know it all but in fact,
they are just people who are following to the codes that are perceived as 'normal' in society.

People try their best to stay on the optimum mood,
People try to avoid and be somewhat of an isolationist,
But all with intention of trying to keep their mood stable,
Seclusion does not always have to be a negative thing to do,
Deep inside,
At least you are with someone who understands and knows you the best,
who is capable of dealing with the enemy deep within you
which is yourself...
against...
yourself

by Kaiwyn Tang

Aftermath

"It's important to monitor you since you're on Clozapine when it has the side effects of agranulocytosis which is a white cell defect and potential myocarditis...", while I explain to the patient and handed over the blood collection kit to the new RMO in ward. I was not confident to do it on an aggressive patient yet. 

Things are always about side effects in pharmacological intervention,
but recently I think people act hastily in general some times,
even with knowing the possible consequences, they still happen to do it.
What drives them to actually act on their intuition?
Is there any degree of gain involved?
Sometimes trying to be in their shoes to understand what they are going through,
but psychology can get a bit complicated and you would not want to be too attached to your patient.
When psychiatry registrars are explaining things like philosophers,
about how could the patients present with this behavior,
with all the psychodynamics and biological models,
it somehow connected to me,
the words uttered from him somehow makes sense to me,
which is different when I am doing other rotation (eg. neuro, cardio etc)
Could this be from doing too much psychiatry?
Do I want to be in psychiatry?- I don't know,
at least not consciously,
not if I sit down and research about what I really want,
besides there is still lots to be experienced yet.

"I understand that you've been using alcohol as something to numb away the sorrow and grief, but now your body is too intoxicated, and they want the alcohol out. We can still provide some benzos for your withdrawal  after doing the AWS, then monitor you closely...", stated the consultant while I'm writing the progress notes in patient's file.

Loss can be really shocking to anyone,
With such an intense stimuli, it is normal for a person to defend it,
unconsciously or consciously.
In denial, forming a barrier and keeping the loss from within,
finding a replacement (eg alcohol and drug abuse),
referring back to the origin or when naivety is most likely prevalent,
these are all examples of defensive methods after a loss.
The positive approach would be desirable, to move on,
but it will take a while.
Things that can't be undone,
things that comes back to haunt you,
things that makes you feel imperfect,
Aftermath,
how scary and fearful it is,
but hey,
I guess you acquire active immunity from it,
it will get less intense next time when it happens,
but it is just another way of comforting yourself,
isn't it?
honestly speaking...

by
Kaiwyn Tang