Withdrawal

Well *takes a deep breathe*
Sunlight shines through the semi-transparent glass into my room full of notes and unorganised apparels.
There I was lying on the same old bed,
Looking through my contacts in my phone,
dialed up to a few friends - "No answer"
I was about to take a quick nap just before I go hardcore on studies back.
As I was about to doze off with procrastination,
I decided to jolt up from my horizontal position,
Washed my used dishes,
Cooked dinner although it's only 410pm.
Came back into the gloomy sunny room,
suddenly felt a bit autumn-ish,
the yellowness of the light soothes me as well as it brought some melancholy,
I wonder why...

Memories slowly recollected into my mind,
although I thought it was full from all the studies that I had done,
the decision of withdrawing from last semester when I had gone through it,
the decision of withdrawing from my parent's financial care,
the decision of withdrawing from love and friendship,
slowly haunts me...
every decision that I had made so far...
probably not particularly for the whole 22 years,
if I have to think about what I had consciously withdrawn from for the first time in my life,
it is definitely the decision of withdrawing from eating vegetables as a child.
Like a puzzle joining into a picture,
What will fuse into with every withdrawal or addiction?
I froze for a bit
...
Doesn't it end up into a picture of me in future?

Kaiwyn Tang