M.E.D.I

After examinations

PREMIERE AT University of Newcastle

HB15

10:00am

18/11/10

Director/ editor: Kevin, Ann, Ju

Actor/actresses: Hajer, Anis, Ju, Ann, Kevin, Akma

Script: Kevin, Ann

WARNING!

Operation successful!

=)

The Orange that Tasted Like Lemon

Sweetness of an orange,

Slight sourness of a lemon,

Although we have specific taste buds on our tongue,

We still can't distinguish it fully,

Just like our minds in deciding what's good,

what's bad...

Though,

our facial expression would expressed,

just like how our body react to what we may not know,

it's just a natural reflex,

hidden deep somewhere in the limbic system...

I guess.

The sweetness of an orange,

the partial sourness of a lemon comes with it sometimes,

that infinitesimal low pH taste still overrides the sweetness.

Just like how a bad deed is amplified over the goods that you've done so far.

Funny but that's reality

But sometimes,

when you caught a cold,

you lost that special sensory,

that distinguish such detailed information on your tongue.

Everything is back to basics,

just getting enough nutrition for life,

not judging or analysing what's good or bad,

just like our minds,

when immunity is down,

everything is back to basic physiology of trying to survive,

survive the everyday life.

I'm not saying that I like to be sick,

but sickness is the chance to prove others about your true inner self,

not being evaluated, judged, or analysed,

things can be so simple,

back to the innocent days of childhood,

where everyone's a gift from heaven,

waiting for time to cycle through...

I swear I was still like that three years ago (2007)...

still can be,

no?

Blissfulness

Addie

(1 more exam to go...)

Summer Scent Rain

Addressed to: Myself in future's time...

Woke up in the morning thinking it was late already...

But when I looked into my phone --> 6.23 a.m > WTF?

I swear I slept really well,

coz' I didn't use my favourite blanket to sleep,

so I felt good for achieving deep sleep stage!

Then I went out to kitchen,

read the shopping catalogues for like 30 minutes 0.o

then had an Indian breakfast

and prep up for university...

So freakin' hot and at the moment,

I wished it would rain later when I am coming back.

At that moment,

I really feel like getting rained on...for some weird reasons,

just wash me away from the haunting of the past...

Walking to university,

lots of thoughts came into my head while I was listening to a medley.

Being by the beach,

Giving you a piggyback ride,

And filming it would suit perfectly with this medley...I smiled.

At university, everything went accordingly.

Even met my uni juniors and friends who were having exams,

Kinda wish them good luck,

and they wished me too,

although I was honest and told them I wasn't prepared,

but they assumed I was joking and told me I'll do fine.

Reassuring?

Not a bit...

Walking to the library to retrieve some books to prepare,

Wow, my course-mates were there,

Holding their heads while looking through their notes,

Periculum to the max!

But I understand, I would've done that to if I can,

but I just need to focus...

Was about to go home,

All in my mind was hopefully study,

Then saw my friend came walking towards me,

She wanted to get some chips, so I just tagged along.

Chatted for a while, didn't knew that she was experiencing the same things,

Felt relieved and convinced that I wasn't a nutcase after all.

Slowly, we walk back, diverging halfway to our respective destinations - Home.

Carrying 3 books in my hand,

With sunglasses on my head,

I looked up the cloudy sky,

Thinking about the wish I made before,

I felt it comforting...as fine droplets of water feathered down from the sky.

The smell of rain and the feeling of summer...

Soothing but yet somewhat melancholic.

An old man with a stick walked out from his crib,

Reaching for the letterbox like it was important.

The round mark on his head,

gave me a glimpse of a craniectomy.

That moment, I felt I was substantial...to a certain degree.

All I have to do now is try my best,

As when I develop with age,

I could tell myself,

that I've done my best...

Don't blame the 21 year old self...

Everyone's in the rain sometimes,

don't let it soak up your emotion,

take it in and grow,

just like plants...

Grow...

Addie

Periculum

What am I doing?

What was I like before doing this?

Why am I doing this?

Can I continue like this?

Why am I doing this to myself?

These questions were raised because of the periculum inside of me.

I have no idea why every time when I met something challenging,

I would try like hell to procrastinate,

sometimes,

I do not even have to try to do that, it just happens naturally.

If there was a major of procrastination,

I would excel in it.

Is this a sign from my deepest inner side?

Or,

Is this just a habit brought from young?

Periculum...

продолжение следует

Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or harm.

Everyone has a specific stimulus to trigger fear and anxiety attacks.

The amygdala is responsible for the pathophysiology of fear,

wahaha medical student syndrome...

What's mine? Hmm...

I think I might be fearless hahaha

Go on, grill me all you want, I might be scared of something...

I am a human being after all...

SIGH~

No...I wished I wasn't hahaha

Computer: What animal do you fear the most?

Umm, those that can gobble me up...

Computer: What activity do you fear the most?

Diving in a dark cold deep sea...

Computer: What people do you fear the most?

Murderers

Computer: What do you fear the most emotionally?

When mistakes are irreversible...

Computer: What was your biggest fear you had ever experienced?

Dealing with the Ouija board and the night after that

Computer: Do you still fear your fears?

......I

.......can't...?

To be continued...

Au Revoir

Goodbye to the innocence,

Goodbye to the simplicity,

Goodbye to the naivety,

Goodbye to the purity,

Goodbye to the sincerity,

Goodbye to the insanity,

All was forced out as the hand of the clock moves on,

What's next?

Goodbye to the happy family,

Goodbye to the wonderful school life,

Goodbye to the puppy first love,

Goodbye to the flexible gymnast,

Goodbye to the nerdy geek,

Goodbye to the quiet kid,

Goodbye to the acne and zits,

How do I grief when there's so much things to bid farewell to?

Well, actually, underneath all that,

These are still within me,

And using it to build a better life

Ahead.

So,

Au Revoir,

Goodbye to You...

Although I'm no good in goodbyes, but I'll bare with it.

Isn't that what everyone's going through?

P.S Wishing myself all the best in exams

Addie